HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE LONGEST DAY/WEEK OF SANDRAS LYFELIFELYFE

theres this tick inside me that's like HURRYHURRYHURRY, GET THE THOUGHTS DOWN BEFORE SOMETHING FLIES NEAR YOUR FACE AND YOU GET SIDETRACKED AGAIN CAUSE YOURE EASILY DISTRACTED, but this aint a.d.d.
and it's not even a tick-tock, it's more like a tickticktickticktick.

everything and everyone this past week has been getting on my last nerve. how many last nerves do i have? a lot. what happens after it gets on the last nerve? idk, but i feel neurotic a good lot of the time, so much so that my bowels have been backed up. ha ha ha, just kidding, how TMI would that be?

this weekend threw me for a loop, i was scheduled off of work and it was noted that i requested off, but there was nothing and no reason for me to have done something like that, so i'm a little confused as to what happened. this was the longest saturday of all saturdays, so long that i forget already what happened. sunday was filled with strawberry shortcakes that tasted so divine i couldnt believe that i had made them myself. it must have been all that love... the recipe called for a pinch, but i used my good judgment and added 2 or 3 times that much. i think it was 2 at first but then when i saw how wonderful things were turning out, i added an extra third. dont tell anyone, i know everyones watching their figure.

i cleaned my room. the kind of cleaning where you're so hardcore about it, youve got music that you havent heard in a long time playing, the kind of music that you decide right then and there is going to be your busy music, the kind with a purpose, and its so fitting, so good for the mood. as i was saying, the music was all over my face and ears, and i was dusting so hard, washing and dusting and then vaccuuming in stupid places, like corner ceilings, and clearing empty hangers and hanging unhung pieces of clothing. then i got pissed at a skirt zipper that's been pissing me off for the past IDKHOWLONG, so i pissily ripped it into pissing shreds. this week was filled with some rage, its hormones or something.

saturday i was fully crazy, saturday i was just concentrating on creating the most fitting noise to whatever i was feeling. the meeps did not suffice. it wasnt even an ehr, it was loud and obnoxious, cause i had all of these loud obnoxious bugs crawling inside of me, so i shook my head hard, but that just made my head hurt.

so that was saturday, if youre following, i actually went from saturday to sunday to saturday again.


oh also, last night (sunday) i also started and semi-finished a painting that i am very satisfied with. i hardly paint, but i love it very much and bought new brushes. well, i am satisfied with it. i said that already, but only because it's true. it's pretty accurate and im excited to see what others will think.

today is monday and i worked and we're currently trying to accomplish everything with only 2 half working cars. together, they create one perfect car, but that's not how car-world works. another car was out of commission so there were 5 adults with adult live and schedules trying to get everywhere with one car, so we had to call for back-up and we were all like, "HAHA MAN GOOD THING WE HAVE FRIENDS!" cause that's how we got to work.

i ended work at a good time, accomplished a great deal of things i wanted to, then went crazy for the next three hours waiting for everyone else to get done with work.

so i went to circuit city, and theyre looking at me like HEY DO YOU WORK HERE, LOOK AT YOUR SHIRT.
but im like NO, im not nearly as sophisticated as you guys, mine is a plain read polo while yours is full of fanciful wonderness, what with your white stripes on your sleeves and logos.
so i waited and waited and more noises and more laughing and i waited and i played with my hair.

and we got home and i watched some things on my computer, played freecell and messed my room up a little bit. i slept weird and i started to sweat, so i woke up feeling fat, cause if youre sweating in your sleep you must be fat or something.


then i text sheila to bring home ice cream sandwiches, "the kind that is cheap and plentiful," were my exact words. this is the ice cream that is best.

so she came home not too long ago, and i tried sewing this really thin material that was given to me from the seventies. its just that its so thin and im so bad at sewing that it kept getting jammed, and im forced to rethread the machine every try. so right now that's in the middle of my room and i really wanna rip it like i did the skirt and kick the machine over, but that's not good because i bought it with my own money. it was on sale.

anyway, the ice cream sandwiches arrived and i'm writing this blog because i'm full of disappointment from the sandwiches. i bit down on them, and i think meadow gold overcooked the sandwich part of it, because it did not break under the pressure of my teeth which caused the ice cream within to SMOOSH out of its bed. so i have to lick the outsides, and this is not how i like sandwiches. i joked about how i wanted to eat them while lying down, the ultimate FAT move, but i wouldnt do that. id probably eat them then lie down. anyway, i said those last lines to show how much i was looking forward to it, in order for you to be able to gauge just how great my disappointment was and is. a true ice cream sandwich's outer parts should be soft, so soft that it gets stuck behind your front teeth, and youre left trying to be rid of its remaining bits for a few minutes afterwards.

so yeah i'm kind of crazy, as is this blog, i usually dont write so candidly, but iw anted to type everything and publish it without correcting or editing anything. there will probably be no one that will read this entire thing.

ice cream sandrawich.

oh and this is what natalie dee said, and maybe she's right, but i was forced to do the squish and lick, and NOBODY FORCES SANDRA TO DO ANYTHING. NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER. NOBODY.

egad

GOOD TO KNOW.

handsome squidward

im not sure how late i am with this thing, but i finally saw spongebob episode #95, season 5, "the two faces of squidward."

and im a little disturbed, a tad pissed, a whole lot of grossed out, and even after a little bit of time sitting with it, i still got a case of the jibbies.

this is altogether the most messed up and hilarious thing ive ever seen in my entire life...

basically, spongebob breaks squidward's already ugly face, and turns him into handsome squidward. after some time living with it and seeing the horrors of public life, he wants the transformation to turn back, going once again to spongebob to fix what's been done. but after a barrage of door whacks, spongebob further handsomes squidward, creating an ultra-handsome form of squidward. ultra-handsomely-disturbing form. ultra-disgusting-handsomest-extremely-disturbing form. UGHHHH and HAHAHHAHHAHAHA at the same time.

i dont think i laughed intitially. i just screamed in horror. anyway, check him out.



HAHHAHAHA, the twirls and the.. UGHHHHH.
the clothing change, the belt, the leotard, the stitchings of his stockings, the arse chin, the pursed lips, the chest hair, and best/worst of all,

the FOOT-FORM FOR HANDS.

huahuahuahuahuahua

ILIKEIT, i do i do i do i do ido ido ido ido.

it's about time...

considering the many changes that occured within the span of a week, a post including said moments in pictures seems apropos.
with all moves and appointments... mm, granted, it makes my insides tighten a little bit, but im able to swallow any feelings of sadness knowing that all of this signaled a growth that some maybe had not first noticed.
grrr, this trend is a growing one, because i think we've all gotten the hint that those who are able, simply should. and that strong ties and roots shouldnt hold you back from furthering your service in ways that you can. with that said, im appreciative to those who have paved the way.

first, one from hansel--

i know mang rose has a much better picture, but this is the only one that i have on my computer. i think i always had a feeling that this would be our last year together. first and lasts, actually. and we're actually missing one, so you can see why there was cause so much joy.

ANYWAAAY,

you know me and how im all about the maka aaarte for the part-ay. jk, im not.

but, here's some good ones from the DIAS GOING AWAY BASH 2008---

(i actually really really really wanted a blog dedicated solely to the dias'... but as good as i am with the words, especially those of merriment or moments of retardation, the ones i have for the dias' just simply do not suffice. as able as i am to help with lyrics to songs of appreciation, i couldnt possibly hope to properly convey my gratitude. so it's pretty bad, because im not even going to try. im going to shallowly skim the surface, in hopes that you understand that with no words, im actually saying more.)

HAHA, they probably didnt even know that the cupcakes had words. well, they were christmas cupcakes (an obvious JK), but if i used blue, they would have been patriotic ones, so green seemed appropriate. seeing as green means life. and stuff.

if i had known that this wasnt gonna be a dessert-fest, i would have made like 97 more batches, but it's okay because im kind of a cupcake-making machine and will probably make more for others later.

AND DID YOU NOTICE THAT THE ROW OF "ALOHA" IS MISSING A RED VELVET?

my dad ate it at home cause he was convinced that he wouldnt get a taste. he was kind of right.

:( xin looooi.

i was gonna have some pictures of the choir, but i've only got some of the sopranos, altos, and baritones. uhh, i dont think the tenors took a group shot! OHS NOS. also, i havent any group ones, so if you have a ringo, check out des', or even hazel's caussseeee theyve got better ones HKEHEKHAKEHHEKEKEEKE.

__

pickle and sheila

HAHA, we're all reunited and stuff. sheila, hide that jacket cause i'm so close to burning that mess.

shayna, pretty much my best friend. i usually dont like little girls who are so smart, but hers is more about wisdom and experience rather than knowledge. i dont know if she's the greatest cause i'm such a child or because shes such an adult. either way, she knows that sheila doesnt like mornings, when stereo likes to be playful, and that we shouldnt have to take all day waiting for him to go potty.


the dias' and jordan! ugh, i take pictures of the stupidest things, or unnecessary people like mark (HAHA).... but we didnt even take one with the dias'. haha idgits.

anyway, this shot's relevant.
deven caught not being a hardaxe.
he's pretty much the smartest person ever, with an ear that bleeds perfection.

x

son, love is a punch in the eye
it's a sudden and swift surprise
it's not a candle, not waiting to burn
so baby just wait your turn
and when it hits you,
you'll see
through rose-colored apathy;
through the blues that bruise can leave,
was it really worth the wait?

what we fall for when we're already down

the good life, the cello, the omaha

omaha, nebraska, that is.

i guess when youre surrounded by a plethora of inspiration-- be it nature, the dodgy parts, or even just areas filled with inspired individuals, it miiiight be easier to create something that will in turn inspire others.
but i figure that when you're in a place like nebraska, or ohio... or indiana (HAHA), you're less affected. less influenced.and more likely forced to create a genre all on its own. or at least a branched out tweaked version of a something else.

anyway, i think there was a period of time where i was so intent on finding music or things that could properly convey what i thought i was going through. i spoke in lyrics and quotes, because my own always proved inadequate. i spent hours on end reading articles about bands, and finding other bands they could be compared to. now, i spend my time dancing to danity kane and screaming keshia cole. hahahahaahaha. not that ive grown lame, it's just that most of those former words no longer apply.

anyway, ive spent money and time and money and more money and some other time on buying and finding, but mostly buying new music, trying to quench a thirst for something new. i should really save all that time money finding and buying by perusing through the old music i once found so wonderful.

one being THE GOOD LIFE.
and ohhhh, how i loved the good life.

tim kasher's side project.. kekeke. i loved cursive, but not with the same intensity. and i guess i'd have to credit others for cursive, but it wasnt as lyrically driven as the good life, which is probably what endeared me to them in the first place.
but how long did i want to play the cello because of cursive? long time, long time, long time.
ill leave that to pickle.


always
myway
myway
myway
myway
myway
myway
myway

anyway,

it's obviously something great, because it's part of saddle creek records (haha)
and obviously something original, because theyre from omaha
and obviously something moving, cause i listen to it-- jk. jk. triple jk.

the good life taught me the beauty of a concept album,
and i should really credit them, along with radiohead, for my ongoing musical education.
i listen to it now, and i can hardly believe that i once thought that i could easily relate to it.
so i guess the good life can also be credited to breaking me a little bit.

the only thing that would make this blog interesting to anyone else is if i were to have some AWESOME pictures of the band at RAD shows with RADICAL lights and more AWESOMENESS and FANTASTICALITY.
but i dont even know how tim kasher looks.
the way i dont know the band members, their birthdates, favorite bands, ice cream, and hometowns.


but the sound of his voice, ill never forget.
and descriptive words, they continue to haunt me.
and the feeling i got, the place i felt it, and the way it hit me,
well, it's a constant feeling of deja vu.

you dont have to listen to them to understand what it is to rediscover something that once meant almost everything to you at some given time in your life. it's a little bit humbling to recognize how trivial things had such an impact, or even just seeing a crass, unrefined version of yourself through renewed eyes. just imagine those same eyes and experiences years from now.

there's a portrait of your mom when she was young. her face was
shining brightly as the sun. the son who got away from her, but came back
home again to find a woman wrecked with all this love she couldnt give-- but you
know she did. you just couldnt feel it then.

for those who stopped reading a long time ago, here are some pictures with no people in it.

check out those mountains.

your time was not a total loss!

----

HOTRAD OUT~!

video blog time.

it looks like im crying, but im actually licking my lips and laughing. NEWYORKNEWYORK!


we knew where the camera was, but mark and alona kind of forgot. yeah.. they had a smile on their face but couldnt hold it. clearly. clearly.





HAHAHAH OH KOREANS, YOURE SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING!



I CANT WAIT FOR KOREA '09. jk. jk. *crosses fingers*

the drive there was cold and nice, cheeeck it.

sandra's slide, failure 1.

nikki's slide, part 1.

mark's slide, a big one.

alo's slide, she got pretty bus'

sandra's slide, take 2 UGH

nik's slide, right-side up, short one.

kakekekeakaha huahuahuahuahuahua,
i seriously miss this "SNOW"/MELTED ICE,
i miss vegas, i miss that house, i miss the guilaos,
i miss having a guitar, i miss not working, i miss shopping,

i miss sheila, i miss the dias', i miss march.

anyway, the vids are summed up in a bunch of one-liners, and if they suck it's because YOU HAD TO BE THERE. and it looks weak because we're using a storage bin cover, which was amazingly aerodynamic. i'm gonna admit now that i had very bad form, i screamed like a sissy, and at times like a ninny, and had fun when i promised sheila that i wouldnt. i still hold to saying that this time seeing snow didn't quite count, so next time we'll come back decked out in full snow-gear, hitting real slopes on real boards, KEKEKEKE. then when we go back i'll see those dogs again, who's real and proper names are Rahrah and Kaiser. We may even see Jojo again, who's proper name we will assume is Johan.

AITES LIKES LIKES LIKES

lmaolmarflmaolol so hard! wasnt he in GREASE?

hey there big shot, that must be somewhere third-world,
so that makes you an automatic winner LOL.
speaking of third world and screwed up POV's,
oops, i mean speaking of other-worldly moments and adventures,

we were happy to be out, i think.

anyway, any of my readers/fobbers/format-stealers will automatically recognize the Guilao house. pretty bomb lay-out, cause you walk in and this is hawaii, more so than my own home.
CAUSE THEY HAWAIIAN, THEY DONT CAAAARE. (haahd-ly any-mo'..)

if youre planning to book a room, get one with a view. wonderful continental breakfast if you have your coupons. mark had coupons and got almost an entire omelette to himself.
oh and you wake up to the most amazing banging of the drums, and get to play this wonderful game where you finish the tune of whatever troy is playing-- in your head of course. then you sing it out loud and figure out why and how you know it.

CALIFORNIA/TRAPPED DOGGG

SHAPED DOG, MARK

BFF-- jk, she might piss me off and i wont feel like making a retraction.

hidden signs.

frozen behinds.

and to you, the one person who continually proves me right while screaming to others that i am wrong-- i blamed it once on timing, but its come to my attention that it was never your intention to spend time with us in the first place. its been blamed (by everyone else) on your period, girl drama, and even sometimes on the person you claim is your best friend. well i dont believe in BESTS, and i also dont believe in girl drama or the excuse of a menstrual cycle and enraged hormones to justify bad attitudes. simply because i've done it before, and it wasnt some famous person, but a W. article that said that there is NEVER ANY REASON TO BE UNKIND. i remember it well because it's something that i continually need to work on.

but come on now, we should just let it out. so what is it? do you not like how we dress? how we talk? that we are ilokano? from hawaii? are you afraid of the unknown? do you not like my blog? am i a threat? am i stealing your friend? is that why you write things about friendships being ephemeral? and who told you that we couldnt all get along? who said that there had to be a division, with ice-cold actions being the dividing line? i'll take back what i once said about you being an annoyance, but only because it will take one more thing from you to prove that line true. but from everything youve said about being such the bigger person, i know for fact that not one more blog will go up from you exclaiming that fact. do you think that we couldnt see through your invites? you said it through your teeth, cringing at the thought of spending time with the people even your very close friend deems entertaining. well, whoever said a mix was impossible is probably just feeding into your ideas of such. but in our brotherhood, it shouldnt be. i guess that's what so messed up. we shouldnt be acting this way, and yet we continue to write, trying to prove a point. well have you learned yet that nothing written could prove that the way we're acting is proper? ive realized that now, and so for everything, we apologize. we apologize for ever being offended at your attitude and will even go as far as apologizing for anything we ever did to make you not like us. we apologize for girl drama, your period, taking your friend, the sun rising too early, the moon taking its place, and anything else we may have caused during our stay. jk bout the sun and moon btw, im just retarded lmao. if you hoped to make things right towards the end, any gestures were shown as empty as soon as those things were written. do you write for me? well i write for myself, but now i write for you. these questions are no doubt rhetorical, but i dont know what we did to you in the first place to not make you want to entertain us. you're right, though...what were we thinking, expecting you to want to hang out with us? it must be a culture thing, because anyone who comes to hawaii is entertained and accepted with open arms. even if you didnt mean it, you were perceived as being cross and from then on, we were weary. but then you proceeded to show the same disinterest, so what were we to do? had we not showed up the second time to that mall, the error would have been on us for not giving you a chance. well, im at my wits end, and my biggest fallacy would be to take every negative thing ive heard of and from you as ammo for this blog. but you still dont know me, the way i dont know you. i was wrong for starting this war, and continue to be wrong for making this something about you. im done with this, and with this entire situation. you don't win, you're just you.

and never again will this blog speak of it.
and if you didnt get it from that, this is an apology.
white flags in the air, waving for the innernet to see.
lol

DONE!!!

this trip is finally coming to an end, and we're pretty much just counting down the moments before the sun goes down. the hours before our packed bags will be secured and put upright before being rolled to the trunk. the minutes before boarding, and the seconds before take-off. it's a rare thing for us to go on such adult-like vacations. rare to be apart from my family for so long without any held malice. rare to be missing home so much. but even more rare to have loved this trip so much despite all preconceived notions and newly-made ones.

some of which will remain.

again, i think it's truly a thing of growth to be so open to people and to see things through new eyes. it's really best when we're all able to shut up and sit back and see the dynamics of people. an even funnier thing when you're able to watch others make a true fool of themselves. who knew that it's sometimes best to keep our mouths shut? who knew that sometimes, the more people say in the intellectual scheme of things, the stupider they sound. it's funny to realize that i was once that. i once judged people by the amount of books they read, and not so much the length of the words used but the measure of depth and meaning.

AND OH, HOW I USED THOSE DEFINITIONS. DEFINITIONS OF WORDS, MEANINGS, USAGES... ohh you knowww

anyway, i think the more open you are to people and experiences, the more youre able to grow from them. if youre so willing to shut yourself off from people and situations, how will you take on the great things about people and learn from the bad? i guess i learned that it doesnt matter how smart you are...or the difficulty of questions and conundrums you bring up in conversation.

it just really doesnt matter.

because what is knowledge and wisdom if you havent enough warmth to attract? and if words and attitudes and opinions so easily repel, then what of it?

ive learned that the people ill remember out of this entire trip were those who were warm and hospitable enough to have left an indelible mark on the memories made. it's funny that simple words of interest, or lines exchanged from common interests, or just giggles of commonly held facts will forever endear you to someone. no matter how short those encounters were.

and the fact of the matter is that it takes 2 or more proper encounters to change a person's mind after a bad first impression.
i think that holds true.

anyway, i've learned to not judge people by the amount of money made, or the cost of their confidence clutches. not even the amount of experience on their resumes, or their eloquence in job interviews. because the people i've learned to surround myself with are those with the sincerest of hearts, and with an openness, not of their wallets, but of their minds. because of all the qualities that attracted us to our Creator, it was not his justice, nor his power, and not even his wisdom that did it. instead, it was his Love. so of all things to imitate, it should be that. only then will people be attracted to us.

like in Across The Universe--

Uncle Teddy: Because, Maxwell, what you do defines who you are.

Max: No, Uncle Teddy. Who you are defines what you do. Right Jude?

Jude: [awkward] ... Well, surely it's not what you do, but the, uh... the way that you do it.

so even with us, who have the most humblest of jobs... we know surely that we are all gifted enough to be able to do anything we want in this system...

to make salary at lucritive companies and firms, answering phones, sipping on coffee, playing freecell all day.

or even to sell bread and flowers on the side of the road all day.

or even and read enough to defend the lowly, or study enough to help the sick.

but it's neither what we do or who we are, but how well we do it, and how we use our talents to better serve Him where we should.

so i guess i appreciate even being a lowly bartender, the money i get to support my pioneering, and the social skills ive developed to be more approachable.

id hate to be unapproachable.

so anyway, i guess there are some people who will find infinite loop-holes to justify their behavior and actions, but i'm not going to do that. what's done is done, and everyone's wronged everyone. but it's not the best to be so biased to defend and rationalize a loved ones actions, simply for the fact that theyve known them longer. and no, right now i'm not going to write a blog about how i'm the bigger person. because to say so, again, would negate that very fact.

so let us love, neither in word nor with the tongue, but in deed and truth.

thanks to all the california and vegas people that were sooo accomodating. again, we had no expectations, but nearly everyone proved to be so warm and loving.

come to hawaii and we'll promise to do the same.

what happens in vegas

gets posted on the web.

HOME FUN----

APRIL FOOLS ON APRIL FOOOOOOLSSSSS

APRILLLL

VIRGLE
for
GOOGLE


is lol. 08's google fools is pretty hidilarious.