haha

this is the lamest ive felt all week. seriously, im embarrassed sitting here, admitting that ive been listening to brand new again. not like im some true fan who knows all discography, lyrics, release dates, band members, etc. as if i know what happens on track 9 at 2:34. i dont, so dont get mad.
but im listening to "the boy who blocked his own shot" and it's not like im falling on the ground dying over it. but im actually listening to it and it just feels weird when words seem to apply so hard?
haha yeah im sort of hunching over in embarrassment right now. i feel like hiding my face, but no one's in this room so i guess i wont.

hold on; stereo's putting his mini-paws on my knees and leaning on me. trying to get me to throw lion-head. HAHA i didnt have to type this, but that was my way of sharing that tidbit.

well, i like it. so sue me.


If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.
I hope you find out what you are.
I already know what I am.
And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.
And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.
I'll grow old and start acting my age.
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate.
A crown of gold.
A heart that's harder than stone.
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone.

Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
Only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state.
You can keep to yourself.
I'll keep out of your way.
And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down.
Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.
It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room, when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.
So call it quits or get a grip.
You say you wanted a solution.
You just wanted to be missed.

Call me a safe bet.
I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget...
So you can forget
You can forget

You are calm and reposed.
Let your beauty unfold
Pale white like the skin stretched over your bones.
Spring keeps you ever close.
You are second hand smoke.
You are so fragile and thin.
Standing trial for your sins.
Holding onto yourself the best you can.
You are the smell before rain.
You are the blood in my veins.

Call me a safe bet.
I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

i hope you know that each time i swallow hard it's an acknowledgement of everything ive done. every exhale is the admittance of every wrong. and i sometimes think that every chill i get is my own self-condemning heart, reminding me that im not allowed to forget. i am aware that i'll forever be wrong in your eyes; if it changes anything, know that i live life with that in mind. and if effort makes any difference, im trying my hardest to make things right.